Y2K WAS GAY GAY GAY!!!

Back in time once again...

This time we are almost to the close of 1999 and the fear of the soon to come Y2K Bug. To remind my readers, basically the worry was that when the year changed to 2000 computers were going to crash and all hell was going to break loose. Did it happen??? Fuck if I know!!! As you will soon see, I overserved myself at a New Years Eve party and was able to forget all about our computer crisis and our civilizations impending doom. But I do recall the party and what lead up to me making the decision to have a couple of drinks.

A month or so before the end of 1999 Sandstram and I were in the middle of renovating a house we purchased in our neighborhood. Our good friends were also building their dream home a few blocks away. For the sake of the story lets' call the couple Brenda and Dave. One night Dave came over for a visit while I was installing subflooring in in our house. As we shot the shit, out of nowhere a man appeared in the doorway. Strangely on this warm night he was wearing a turtleneck and appeared giddy to see Dave and I. Almost immediately I began to induce why our new friend was so happy to meet us. You see, Dave is quite a dapper fellow. In fact, I would best describe him as a Metro Sexual. I believe Kevin (our new friend) took the Metro to the next level and went full Homo with it!!! He obviously thought ole Dave and I were a couple. Me being the strong but sensitive guy and Dave without a doubt my handsome full C cup lady. Kevin finally found his people and was feeling extra fabulous!!!

Unfortunately, for Kev a few days later his dream was shattered when he rushed over for a visit and was greeted by Sandstram and I. I watched as it all began to sink in to Kevin's head that at best I was Bi-curious (which honestly might be true) or at the worst I was 100% straight. All was not lost for Kevin though, as he and Sandstram became friendly. Friendly enough, or a moment of weakness' on Sandstams part led him to get an invite to the small gathering we were invited to in a few days for New Years Eve. 

Those few days flew by and I started to wonder if it was the right  to bring an almost complete stranger to an invite we were given to this small party. The list of invitees was rather small. It originally consisted of  Brenda and Dave, Alisa and I, a mutual friend of the host and the girls named Karen and  John, our generous and gracious host. John was also a co-worker of Sandstram at the time. Call it possible uneasiness on my part, but by the time Brenda and Dave arrived to pick Kevin, Sandstram and myself up I had already completed  the 750ml Grey Goose bottle I intended to bring to the party. Not wanting to go empty handed a grabbed an open bottle of Southern Comfort we had and off we went. John lived in a small condo off Ringling Blvd. From what I remember it was small, but very attractive place and John had quite the array of liquor in his kitchen. He had several types of beers for us, Dewars Scotch, Johnny Walker Red Label, and Fucking Huge bottle of wine. Probably just my buzz on the way out of the kitchen area, but I swear I heard Johnny Walker whisper "JB, you ain't got the balls to drink all of us". Challenge accepted Mr. Walker!!! 

The party goers all seem to be having a great time. I recall somewhere in between trying to finishing off Johnny and starting on the Dewars that someone decide we walk a few blocks over to where the city would be dropping the Orange at Midnight. I vaguely remember the walk, but do remember arguing that the "Orange" the city was going to drop looked to me like a Vidalia Onion. I would have to plead my Valdia case another New Year as we needed to get back to John's place for the countdown and fireworks that we planned on watching from his rooftop. I secretly wanted get back and start working on that huge bottle of wine. Midnight and the end of the world was coming, and so was the end of all John's liquor!!! On return, I rushed to the kitchen where I was met by Kevin. As I poured my next drink, I believe I heard him say that he was rather hot and when I turned Kevin was sans pants. In my state this seemed reasonable and off I went. The other party goers seemed a bit put off by Kevin's partial strip tease. No time to fret though, off to the rooftop we go!!!

We arrived at the rooftop with a few minutes to spare. we all took our positions to view the fireworks. 5,4,3,2,1..... and we see NOTHING!!! Apparently, the fireworks can not be seen from John's condo due to a even larger condo blocking the view for fuck sake. There was a shit ton of smoke and noise though. We all had a laugh about the misadventure. Well, almost all of us. Our very hot invitee was now in full meltdown mode and had become completely depressed and had suddenly decided life's was not worth living. Kevin is precariously close to the edge of the building. At this point, I was little help in attempting to save Kevin and honesty was a bit curious to see him carry his mision out. I bet on the fall he'd wish he kept his pants on, I thought. Luckily, the other party goers were Kevin's voice of reason and literally talked him off the ledge. We all adjourned back to the safe confine of John's condo for a bit more drinking, me trying one of Karen's broken Virginia Slims partaking swigs straight out of the huge bottle of wine. 

Unlike the world that night, the party had to end. All of the party goers hugged and said goodbye to John and thanked him for a great evening. Then there was Kevin!!! Kevin approached John who was sitting on the couch and kneels between his legs for what I believe all of us thought was going to be the best yet weirdest goodbye (in front of other guests) ever given. Something about a man in his boxers between another man's legs that seems off, especially when the pantless man just met the host hours before that. But who am I to Judge???. I battled alcohol and although seemingly won the battle would days after learn that I ultimately lost the war. Kevin, went from happy, to hot, to suicidal and nearly finished as a most awesome host pleaser. What I'm trying to say all mostly ended well. Kevin eventually got up from between John's knees, I sobered up and resupplied all John's booze and the world is still revolving around the sun.

Ohhh and I graduated to bigger bottles of Grey Goose!!!

Peace and Love!!!