Showing Love Is Hard!!! You Know What I Mean???

Hi my name is JB and I have a confession. Although in my illustrious life I’ve been smitten a time or two, I have only known true love once. I know, you’d think with all this pure male machismo I’d have a line around several blocks. But here’s the truth:

It was a spring night in 1989 in Bradenton, FL and our senior year of high school was quickly coming to a close. Over these last few weeks of school we had become closer and eventually went on an actual date. Sort of. The location was John Kiker Memorial Field, where I had been asked by my old coach to help out for the annual spring football game on this particular Friday night. Although my parents already knew this young lady, this is the first time I had the privilege to introduce her as my companion. Having survived Slim’s straight from work Natural Light and swamp ass smell and every other word being fuck from his pie hole and my moms seemingly caring yet passive aggressive banter, I knew this young lady was a keeper. 

I guess the bigger question is why has she felt the same way over these past thirty five years??? Besides my chiseled face and 18 pack abs that is.

I think early on for it was the larger family dynamics that intrigued her. As dysfunctional as it was, her being an only child it was definitely a different new vibe for her.  We did family dinners that usually centered around pasta and always involved the entire family and an occasional friend, boyfriend and now my girlfriend. Maybe because she had already known my sister for many years made it more comfortable for her. I don’t know for sure, but I do know shit was always happening. A couple that come to mind kind,  once we came back to the house around midnight and Slim’s truck was missing which is bound to happen if you leave your keys in the ignition. Slim’s truck was found in the field by our house the next day. Apparently some kids from the hood took it for a little joy ride.

There were the nightly friendly basketball games in the backyard that always turned to slam dunk competitions. Which in turn caused me to pour gasoline on the court and ball for my dunk in an attempt to take the bragging rights. We went to movies, the beach and when my lady was at her job at County Seat, my friends I waited for her in the mall parking lot, hitting golf balls on to the roof of the Toys R Us that was next door.  

Our first summer flew by and we both had already made our college plans. My sweetheart would be going to USF cause her future was bright. I on the other hand was heading to Southern Miss as an only option. Read Dummy!!! The relationship was new and we were going to give the long distance thing a shot. We wrote each other often. The letters I received usually accompanied the most recent one I wrote that was corrected by my true love in red ink.  Fortunately we made it thru that first year and my honey  could not live without me and joined me at Southern. I think secretly she was worried about all the southern belles that were chasing me and the USM 5 to 1 female/male ratio. 

College was fun with a partner!!! My girl joined the marching band which got her out of state tuition waved. Got to wave and drop her flag in the Superdome. All while being shown on the Jumbotron I might add. Our neighbors at the townhouse we rented made us a fish feast. Well, they ate most of the feast, they left us a few hush puppies. Speaking of puppies, we caught their dog using some rather large undergarments as a chew toy. The same neighbor also thought a helicopter was chasing her around town!!! My girl had a pet cockatiel named BooBoo who traveled back in forth with us all thru college. That bird was a trooper and survived these travels, as well as almost freezing to death when I was too cheap to put the heater on one cold winter in Hattiesburg. College also went by in a flash, my girlfriend already had a PR Job lined up back in Sarasota and so for me it was a no brainer to head back too. I was putting all my eggs in landing this ambitious young lady and possibly fooling her into marriage and becoming her trophy husband. Which had always been my childhood dream!!! All for not.

My partner saw through my ruse and after a few months forced me into the work force. Sometime during these years this lady saw something in me and during a lunch asked me to be her bride err... husband. Which I replied by spitting out my Turkey sandwich!!! Mostly in shock that my long game of entrapping this beauty was actually working.  After years of working for the man, I decided to try it “My Way” and have been pretty much lost ever since!!! All the while this PR Tycoon of Sarasota has stuck with me. We even have children together!!! Holy Fuck!!! I truly am not deserving .

You see, I know I’m not easy. In fact I can be MEAN. At least my words are. Sarcasm as a form of entertainment has always been my bag, but it’s definitely a double edge sword for the ones you love. Especially for someone who is constantly “stuck” or spends lots of time with yours truly. I realize my true love takes the brunt of the scorched earth left behind from my hurtful words. Of all the people in the world that deserve my sarcastic wrath, my wife would not make that list. Sure we fight and argue like angry drunk sailors which drives our children crazy, but by the next morning all is forgotten. The past year has made me more aware of lots of things. Things over the years that I may have broken may never be able to be totally fixed. Living with a sarcastic person cannot be easy so slightly bent is best we may ever get. So far we have somehow been able to make that work!!! 

There’s more to discuss here, but I’ll leave that for yet another bitchin blog!!!

Thanks for putting up with me Babe. Forever my Role Model!!!

Happy Mothers Day Alisa!!! Best wife and mother I know!!!