Life Is a Sprint , Not A Marathon!!!

Scratch that, reverse it!!! Not really though. As you get older time moves way too fast. I remember when I was a small children not being able to wait for life events to happen. You know, I can't wait for Halloween, Christmas, Birthdays, Special Family trips and to lose my virginity. Now frankly I CAN wait. Except for the virginity one. I guess what I'm getting at in my usual horrible writing style is, treat life like a marathon. But, not a shitty hilly one like the one I ran in Vermont. I would strive to live life like the the New York Marathon. Now that's a fucking life worth living. Or you all could come along on the JB life marathon and see what you think?

For the one of you that is still reading, no need to stretch, let's get right into this thing shall we?

The first few miles of life, marathon or basically anything have always been the worse in my opinion. Starting out is hard.

As we start on this life journey, take a moment to put that phone or whatever your reading this on and put that shit down, after you finish reading this Pulitzer gold of course. And not for a minute, try 15, good now 30, better, can we do an hour? How about a fucking day? Impossible probably!!! What about just leaving while you go to the restroom and try reading a magazine? Success? Great job you're 4 miles in!!! Have a refreshment and some carbs, you deserve and need it after taking the Browns to the super bowl.

Let’s continue, probably weird during this marathon, but it’s time to go for a walk, hike, run, bike ride or whatever’s. Just get the fuck outside!!! There’s a whole world away from work, your house, school and Starbucks. And it’s calling all your asses. Please answer. Who knows what you might see or the problems you may solve. Not to mention how it will relax and calm you down. Hell you may actually see other people. Good job friends were 8 miles in and looking good. 

Speaking of people. Have you ever tried to talk to a people? Any people, not just friends or family. A perfect stranger will do. I’m personally making it a mission to talk to anyone who’ll listen and extra hard for ones that don’t want to listen. BTW my wife Loves This!!! But just don’t talk, you got to let them talk too. And really listen and get to know them. I find it fascinating!!! I’ve learned so much by conversing with my Uber drivers. Remember the Uber driver that took his passenger along on his killing spree? That’s right, I was his passenger. I kid, but not really!!! Get that mid race runner high if you can actually make the strangers day. Half way done guys!!!

Half way in the JB marathon means a sudden panic attack!!! It's OK though, what doesn't kill you, or what your mind thinks is going to kill you makes you stronger. Right??? Face this new fear head on and may I suggest a therapist, medication or a combo of the two. Whatever works. We're to far in now. Let's keep up the pace and keep on trucking, shall we??? Good, I'm proud of all of you. Forget about that brain and concentrate on the life and road in front of you. Did that dude in front of me just shit his pants??? Damn Brown Mile Strikes Again!!! Hurry guys let's pass this guy and get up wind. 15 miles in!!!

That's better. the next five miles is for us.  I've been told by others "Show yourself some grace!!!" If you're not happy with where you are in your own life marathon, that's OK. The great part is you are the only one that can fix that. let's take this 5 miles to realize that we are the captains of our own destiny and nothing or no one can control that for us, BUT US. Got it? Good. You'll need it for the uphill climb that's to come. 20 miles in!!!

Ahhhhh the dreaded last six miles. As they say, it's not for pussies!!! And trust me, as I'm learning, either is old age. You're in the point in this race that your mind will start to give up. But, you can't let it. Your body has to overcome it and carry on. Now's the time to prepare for this. Keep that body moving!!! After all The Body Keeps The Score, Bessel Van Der Kolk (highly suggest reading). Start doing squats, keep that grip strength up, stretch that body or maybe Try Yoga. the more active the body stays the greater chances you have to fight the slow march of old age. For you young'uns out there, don't blink, old ae will swiftly creep up on you too!!! This last six miles tough, but that's the way I believe it's supposed to be. During this last of this life marathon is when you'll need to count on your friends, as well them on you. Take time out to cherish these connections and make time to make and remember old memories. 

That leaves the last .2 miles, Thanks Queen Alexandra!!! If 26 miles wasn't fucking enough. I digress...  After all that living and running and other fuckery at the end i say we give it all we got. You may not know it, but it's a fact that even though you think you gave it all you got, you still got some left in the tank. It's time to let it all go!!! As some wise friends say: "Work Hard, Play Hard", which make a lot of sense about now. So let's make this final gasps a full out fucking sprint. Great job peeps I'm proud!!! I'll leave you with one more quote, "Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely, in a well preserved body, but rather skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "Holy Shit, what a ride!"


Peace out!!!





 



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